A Note on Resourcing
What is resourcing?
Resourcing is a really simple practice that supports the nervous system and offers relief from distress. It is the practice of connecting with something that feels good, and then getting to know what it feels like to connect with that thing. Resourcing is a shortcut to a felt experience of safety. When we feel safe, our bodies are able to rest and heal, and our minds are able to think in creative, nuanced ways about difficult issues. Additionally, our hearts are able to make space for compassion and play, making relationships more appealing and doable.
We can resource in direct response to distress, like a first aid practice, or we can resource when we’re already feeling good in order to build the muscle and increase our general tolerance for difficult events.
Resourcing is a powerful practice. Versions of resourcing are found in most therapy models for treating trauma or incorporating the body and mindfulness into psychotherapy. Here are some ideas for how to build your own resourcing practice:
How to come up with resources
Resources come in many forms. They might be as simple as the texture and weight of a favorite blanket, or the sound your dog makes when he’s dreaming. Or they might be as complex as an imagined space that pulls together elements from multiple environments you have visited or dreamed about. A resource can be a memory of a real place, or the memory of being with a safe person. Resources can also be values you hold or spiritual experiences, like prayers.
To come up with your own resources, try answering the following questions:
Where would you feel safe?
What is your natural habitat?
Can you design a place where you would be comfortable feeling exactly the way you feel right now?
Is there someone you have never met, or a spiritual figure, who you would love to sit with? What would it feel like to be listened to and supported by this figure?
When have you felt accepted?
When have you felt free?
Which sounds, smells, textures, sights, tastes relax you? Which bring you pleasure? Which enliven you?
When do things feel the most simple?
When do things feel the most right?
As you answer these questions, you can notice how your heart and body react. Some of these questions may invite feelings of sadness, anger or longing, while others might invite feelings of peace and safety.
Building the Resource
When you land on a resource that helps your body feel at ease, you can invite yourself to really deeply imagine this resource. Can you use your imagination to transport yourself into this place? What does it look like? Smell like? Are there sounds you can hear? What is the weather like there? What time of day is it? Are other people welcome there? Or not? If so, who? If your resource is real, like a pet or a blanket, can you bring your attention to it in such away that the details of the experience become vivid and new? You can imagine your resource, paint your resource, write about it… whatever helps you feel the most immersed in it.
Soaking it in
As you spend time with your resource, you can track how your body, heart and mind react. When you begin to notice any pleasant shifts, you can bring your attention to those shifts. What are they like? Is there a color to them? A texture? Does your breath change? Does your posture change? What happens in your heart? Take your time soaking up any shifts towards pleasant, spacious or safe feelings. This is the nourishment. Spend as long in these feelings as you can without grasping at them, and let them fade when they do so naturally. You’ll be able to find them again.
One last note
Sometimes resourcing feels easy, and sometimes it feels out of reach, or complicated. That’s okay too. There’s so much to learn in either experience. I’ll invite you to try this practice with an open heart and to find self compassion in whatever it is like for you.
Much love and onwards.